Intimacy

Relationships are built upon intimacy. We all live in relationships and require intimacy. We have partners, spouses, children, employers, parents and neighbors who are a part of our world. How we interact and live with these people greatly impacts our way of life and its quality.

Factors in Intimacy

I have found that there are six factors in a relationship that influence intimacy. If these six factors exist, intimacy is generally good. If one or more are not present, intimacy is weakened. The six factors are:

1. Time Together - time with each other, working together, playing together, just being together in the same place.

2. Breadth of Disclosure - Good conversation sharing opinions, feelings and ideas about a broad range of interests.

3. Depth of Disclosure - Honest, open, vulnerable conversation about real feelings that holds nothing back from each other.

4. Exclusive Events - Dating, special activities or events with each other that create a sense of closeness, partnership and memories.

5. Collective Concern - A willingness to include the relationship in the fabric of daily thinking and living. Using "we" as well as "I" , considering the other in planning and choices.

6. . Sexual Compatibility - Physical touch and affection that is enjoyable and meaningful for each person… may include direct sexual activities in couple relationships.

These six factors can help you see where your relationship intimacy is thriving and where you may want to focus attention to increase intimacy. See the "Factors in Intimacy" resource for more information as to how to use this tool in your life.

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